Where to, Al?

I came across an old photo of Al Sharpton. His haircut is better and his threads are more stylish but the shtick remains the same.

At present, Al is protesting a New York Post cartoon that may have (as with art – it’s in the eye of the beholder) likened President Obama to a chimpanzee. News Corp., the NYP’s parent company, has apologized. (For what it’s worth – and I’m unsure as to who he was speaking for, other than himself – Al Sharpton refused the apology.)

It’s hard to fathom what Al Sharpton considers an outrage given his role in the Tawana Brawley hoax, the incident at Freddy’s Fashion Mart, and being an FBI snitch. I have a hard time reconciling a cartoon with those debacles.

But wherever there is a grievance, Al will be on hand. It’s an easy gig. The story is already out there – all he has to do is just append himself to it. With a smidgen of self-indignation and a bit of bluster, Al finds himself in the news. In today’s media, a good visual with a simple story line (us. vs. them) can get a few minutes on the local news.

Since the barriers to the business are so low – there is always the threat of competition – Al, who may have better things to do with his time, has to consistently hit the streets. The last thing he needs is some fresh face who – heaven forbid – may want to find some common ground with the competing parties.

One would think that Al would be beyond that sort of thing. He has a radio gig and that would be enough for some. Moreover, he’s dodged a whole slew of charges and has remained out of the hoosegow. That has to count for something.

But Al’s center of gravity is being in the public eye. If he ever lost that, he will lose everything. For all I know, Al may be feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and housing the homeless. But it’s putting himself in the eye of a storm that makes him notorious. Otherwise, he’s just an ordinary race-baiter with a nice suit.

More importantly, we’re a culture that celebrates the achievements of African-Americans – whether it’s Tiger, Oprah, LeBron, Denzel, Halle, or even a guy named Barack. (And that’s just for those who can go by one name.) A couple of decades ago, it was easy to rail against the Man. Nowadays, far less so. (When Jesse Jackson cried the night that Obama was elected, he was also marking the death of a then lucrative business model – nationwide grievance collection and reparation. Like the wind, it’s gone.)

But where can Al go from here? He can’t run a campaign much less get elected to any position. Moreover, if he ever were elected, Al, like Stephon Marbury, can't play defense. Even he's aware of his limitations. His background makes him too radioactive to be appointed to anything. (Furthermore, Al is more of an improviser than a planner or a manager.)

So, Al, as he crosses middle age to his golden years, is left to do what he does best – getting himself in the middle of a contentious issue.

And, as usual, Al isn’t there to remediate the injury, No it’s always about Al. He’s not getting any younger, so these stories won’t be any fresher, and they certainly won’t be prettier.

But at least he has a good tailor and a better barber.